Country living · Uncategorized

my future according to a little girl

When I was a little girl, I had a much clearer vision of my future.

I knew what I wanted, and how it was all going to work out.

This is my maternal Grandmother, the only photo I have of her.  I just recently received it.

1-edith ivy-1

 Though she passed many years before I was born, I knew her name.

 It rolled off my tongue like magic.

 Edith Ivy.

I decided that I was going to have a daughter and she would be named Edith Ivy.

I never had human children, only fur babies, none of them were ever named Edith Ivy.

Long before the TV series came out, my parents gave me for Christmas the series of

Little House On The Prairie Books.

BookSet - Little House On The Prairie3

A few of the books were missing at the time they were given, they were out of stock when my parents purchased them as a gift.

The day my parents took me to the book store to purchase the missing books, was like the sky opening up and I was in heaven.

I had a learning disability – it took an unusually long time for me to learn how to read.

I still can’t add 2+2 and get 4.

Receiving those books was an acknowledgment of my accomplishment.

I loved those books and read them over and over.

I fell in love with the name Charles Ingalls, and decided that I was going to marry a man named Charles.

ingallspa
Charles Ingalls

In the mean time, the first sewing project I ever had  was to sew up a cat which I named Charles.

 He was a reddish pink color, you know printed on fabric and you cut out the design, stuffed it with poly fill and sewed it shut.

 I slept with Charles every night, until the real Charles came into my life and I married him.

At least that went according to plan.

 Although my Charles doesn’t look anything like Charles Ingalls, except even though this isn’t a color photo, you can tell he had beautiful eyes.

 My Charles has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen on a man.

My paternal Grandparents lived in a big rock farm-house with a tin roof.

The shutters were painted red and white, the roof red and the front door too.

I took this photo, probably in the ’70’s.

Not visible in this photo is a wing in the back that housed the summer kitchen and the smoke house and a few other smaller rooms.

To the left, behind the big tree, is the big front porch, and a wing that housed the kitchen, and the only bathroom in the house.  Upstairs on that wing was my grandparents bedroom, and an attic.

A partial view of my grandparents home.
A partial view of my grandparents home.

I loved that house and going to visit there was the best place in the world.

Someday I was going to live in a big farm-house with a tin roof, paint it bright red and my front door was going to be red too.

We bought my dream farm-house.   It isn’t a big house, but it does have a tin roof.

Which we painted bright red and the front and back doors red and white.

Until the artist in me said I wanted something more colorful.

That is when the roof got painted a bright blue, the siding coral, the window trim and columns on the front porch purple and yellow.

The front and back doors remain red.

They really need a coat of paint on them that matches the rest of the house.

It is kind of hard to give up that dream though.  Recently I’ve been thinking about going back with a white house and red roof.

There were so many times when I was younger that I knew exactly how my life was going to happen.  I knew exactly what I wanted – and for the most part it happened.

I have had a great life with so many wonderful memories that fill my heart with joy.  Each and everyday I try to remember to be grateful for the people and the good that has filled my life.

Here lately, I’ve felt like I didn’t know what my path should be or how to go about attaining it.

 Still life is very good.

I really need to find that little girl and have a talk with her, maybe she has some advice for me.

When you were a child did you have dreams that you wanted to achieve?

Have you?

See you later,

Bye!

Kim

19 thoughts on “my future according to a little girl

  1. Well, I must of had dreams as a child but I don’t recall many of them. Other than I wanted to be able to fly like the Flying Nun or wiggle my nose and go from one place to the next like Samantha on Bewitched. Neither can I do but when I have a dream that sends me soaring over the valleys and rivers, I feel like I’m in paradise.

    Here’s to dreams as children and as adults. May we never stop dreaming.

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  2. HI KIM! OHHHH I love the picture of your grandmother. Her dollar bill bouquet is so cool! I noticed the eyes on Charles Ingalls before I read what you said about him. Love old pictures! Your grandparents house looks magical and fun. Where was it? Does it still exist? Years ago I wrote a poem about being young and growing up. I read it not to long ago. It seemed bittersweet. But I liked it. If I find it I will send you a copy. I know you would appreciate it! PEACE-

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    1. I love that photo of my grandmother too. Dollar bill bouquet, I don’t know all the story behind it, some I can share though another time. My grandparents house is in PA, I always dreamed of buying it and living there. It went on the market a few years ago, I saw on line photo of the then owner had remodeled and updated – not in my taste at all. Kind of broke my heart. So I have to hold onto my memories of what it was.
      Also your husband is on the short list of the most beautiful eyes on a man, of course you already know that.
      xok

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    1. Linda – thank you for your enthusiasm. Then it would be life at white cottage and somehow that doesn’t seem quite right does it?
      In a way you are a published writer, your blog is wonderful, informative, and funny. What did you want to write? AND don’t give up – you are never too old to dream another dream.
      xo

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      1. I had a book about 3 gal pals written except for last 3 chapters, was involved in a car crash, and kinda put it away 2 years ago. I keep thinking about dragging it back out but time gets away from me… I am very discouraged by writer’s magazines about EVER getting it published.

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      2. Linda – I know all too well about these life events that occur and change our plans or put them on hold. Please don’t give up on your dream, you have a great talent, and I would love to see you share it.
        I’m checking into some info for you from a friend of friend about publishing, when I get it, I will pass it along.

        When I was young, my dad wrote a novel. Every night I would fall to sleep to the sound of him two finger pecking on his Sears typewriter he had in his bedroom. It was a really odd rhythm because he was only using two fingers, as he was missing most of his fingers on his right hand. I got pretty fast over time, but now that I remember thanks to this conversation, he was such a soothing sound to fall asleep to. He never had his book published. I remember the rejections and how he and my mom would go off alone and talk, and I knew he was very sad. I was too young to understand why. It was the only time I saw my dad sad. To this day, I wish he would try again. I’ve been trying to get him to start a blog.
        Anyway, you know I am a dreamer and a believer.
        xok

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      3. Tell your Daddy I said to “START THAT BLOG!” I thought I’d have 5 friends who would visit my blog but I’ve been real surprised at how many NEW friends I’ve made and NOBODY can tell me whether my stuff is any good or not. People can read it or not, as they choose. I’m rooting for Daddy!

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  3. This is a beautiful post, Kim. I guess I wanted to be a National Geographic guide for expeditions. When I had our family dog with me, roaming our woods and exploring-I dreamed about doing that. Perhaps much of my life I have been on such expeditions and didn’t realize it. Life ones, I mean. I’m not sure I’m much of a guide, but I do like helping when I can-so maybe part of my dreaming came true!

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    1. Oh Debra – what a lovely wonderful dream. I definitely feel you are a guide in so many ways. You are a gateway to inspiration for me and I am sure for many others too. You have guided me to find some courage that I put aside along time ago and now want to get back in touch with. You know the courage we have as kids, because we don’t over think it. I was on track to try and submit some of my work, when along came a very negative event from a customer that completely took the wind out of my sails. I keep thinking of you and I will get there. You are a guide!
      xo
      Kim

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  4. That’s a lovely picture of your grandmother! I’m so glad some of your dreams came true! It was lovely to read about your dreams.I’m so glad some of your dreams came true!
    Sarah x

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    1. Hi Sarah – I’m so thrilled to finally have a photo of her. I understand that she was truly an amazing woman. So sorry I never got to know her. I have been blessed with a great life – and there is more to come!
      xo

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  5. I don’t remember my dreams as a child, but I do remember how it felt to be alive and free and how I loved living out in the country, creating special little places to think and write, and making crafts alongside my mom and sister. I have been told that our truest selves can be found by looking back to what we enjoyed around the age of 6 and it does seem to ring true for me:) Your grandparents’ cottage is absolutely charming! I can imagine it nestled on a hillside in England.

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    1. Well, I just finished writing a response, to someone else, that I feel like when we are children we don’t complicate things so much as we do as adults. We can acknowledge that we grow and change as we mature, but for me – I really think I need to get back in touch with the child in me. My grandparents home truly was the magical place to be – it was so different than the life I lived on a regular day to day level. I think I will take my year old self on a trip back there and see what I come up with. XO

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  6. Oh, Kim, I love this post. And I’ve got to ask~ have you read any Martha Beck books? She is my frequent companion, because like you, I know I used to know what I wanted and how to get it, but seem to have mislaid the directions to my life.
    For me it gets confusing because I think it is ok for the dream to change; only, I sort of feel like I’m being disloyal to my younger self.
    I suspect your body is trying to help you find your right path. How are you feeling?
    melissa xo

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    1. Melissa, I will have to check into the Beck books, I think you mentioned her to me before. I’m thinking right now, that it (our dreams, paths, ideas, wants) must be so simple, and we tend to make it more complicated as we turn to adults. As children we don’t put all those boundaries on ourselves and all the doubts, we just think and expect it to be. I don’t think it is being disloyal, I think we accept that we change and grow as adults, and then I too, have that wait a minute if I just simplify – go back to seeing through a kids eye, it will be true and good. You know, I guess I feel pretty happy, I just wish people would buy my art. That is really the bottom line. Then I would have validation – so silly, all that really matters is what is inside of me, and yet sometimes that isn’t enough. Sigh.
      I’m feeling better, thank you for asking.
      Hope you are keeping warm.
      xo
      Kim

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  7. Here’s to you making your childhood dreams come true! A very heartwarming post, Kim. I”m just catching up as I’ve been sick with bronchitis/flu and not on the computer for quite a while. So, my childhood dreams? I wanted to have my own horse so I could ride whenever I wanted. My best friend and I played with the Johnny West series horses and figures and all their fabulous little accessories. We took riding lessons and dreamed about horses. I never did get my own horse…though my dreams changed, so that’s okay. I dreamed of being a teacher…I wanted to work with children from the time I was a child…always wanted to look after the kids younger than me. When I was a sr in high school I decided I would rather help kids individually by being a psychotherapist. This dream I made come true! Got my master’s in Counseling Psychology and after a couple of years of working mostly with alcoholics/addicts I got a job at a great facility for children in KC. From that point on I mostly worked with kids and their families, lots of abuse victims, and I felt I was really doing something to help kids that weren’t having the kind of childhood I was so blessed to have. And helping the parents that mostly didn’t know better. So, I do know what it’s like to have dreams come true….fabulous!

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    1. Ah how lovely. You have achieved the highest of highs, helping others through their dark times. It is your gift given to you by God that you shared with others. It is a wonderful thing.
      It is a sweet image of riding horses, being free and dreaming that little dream too, A little cowgirl. I like that. I sure hope you are feeling better, or on the way to mending all the way soon.
      Lots of hugs,
      Kim

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